Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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