They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize