there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
