He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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