did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
