I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
