Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
