one might say we're banned from that church
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
