Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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