Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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