I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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