Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
