you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
