So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize