Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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