How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
