Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
are you so shy because you have an std?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
