like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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