I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Can I color on your dick again?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
