There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
