i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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