omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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