I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I currently don't understand fingers.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
