My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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