She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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