Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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