Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
