I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I think my vagina is haunted
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
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