why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
