so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
