it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
