i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
