He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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