There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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