I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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