i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
