we made out on top of his cat.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
