he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
