Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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