please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
