I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
well you can't waste a boner
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
