Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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