I just made out with a guy for $7.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize