we have pet lesbian snakes
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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