omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
