apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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