How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
