I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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