I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
