so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
