problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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