She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So much Jack, so little girl.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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