i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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