Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
