Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
