Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
