On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Randomize
