there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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