She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
