Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
