How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
