You work out of a Hotel?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
