and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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