I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
