porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
